Overwhelmed

You know that beautiful song by Stevie Wonder? Yeah, that's Overjoyed, not Overwhelmed. 

To be completely honest, feeling overwhelmed is not a good feeling. Firstly, it is incredibly stressful and it feels like there is a hurricane inside your head that you just cannot shake no matter how hard you try. From then on, all other feelings, such as anxiety, sudden euphoria over small things that you can barely count as victory, and the diminishing ability to move everyday come rushing by in ways you never predicted before. 

Thousands, if not millions, of people have constantly preached the younger generation that being an adult sucks so bad. You will never want to grow up. You will regret your childhood wishes when the time comes. Now that I am barely an adult at almost that-Taylor-Swift-song years old, I would have to agree. On the other hand, I don't know why.

Sure, being an adult is freaking stressful. There are a lot of things to take care of and no one would be there to help you because you are supposedly an adult now. On the other hand, I feel like no one has ever prepared me to face the world as we know it as an adult. All the older generation has said to me is that being an adult sucks and it's better to never grow up. How am I supposed to handle adulthood if you pester me with the idea of never growing up?

There is nothing wrong with being young at heart. It's an admirable quality since not a lot of people can get in touch with their childhood-self. I would love to never lose who I was when I was a kid. I was fearless, I wanted to be active and outside for most times, I was diligent, optimistic, and very passionate. I want to be that person again. I want to live my name, to be free with no anxiety, no stress, and no negative thoughts. 

A lot of not knowing, pessimistic thoughts going in and out your head, anxiety, stress. Adulthood. So far. Overwhelmed. 

Sincerely, Me (3/3)

Dear Heart and Brain,

Stop it, please. It's neither you two or myself. I did not know and I still have no idea.

I over compensate too much. I thought when Heart broke, it would all be better for Brain to take charge. It did not get better for a while because I stop myself from feeling. I force Brain to work when it was not the time.

I deliberately stopped Heart to feel things. At the same time, overworked Brain to do Heart's jobs. I won't say that I'm icy-cold or all-brain. In the middle of all of it, I think and feel like I lost the both of you. It was just empty. There was no feelings, no hope, no facts, no judgments. All I know is nothingness.

I think and feel like I need to stop. I caught some feelings, too much too quickly, because I tried to give all the power back to Heart. Then out of fairness, I let Brain work too. I'm left confused, with all the feelings and the reasons, clouding up in the both of you.

I don't know how everything is going to work out. Maybe in the end, I could collaborate with Heart and Brain properly. Maybe, just maybe, I can fell and hope with all the right facts and the right judgments.

Sincerely,

Me



The "Sincerely, ..." series is inspired by Amy Poehler's "Yes Please" (pp. 80-83)

Sincerely, Heart (2/3)

Dear Brain,

I am sorry. I am so very truly sorry. I put everything on my sleeves and everything fell. I didn't know my sleeves are shaky. I didn't know my sleeves are not that strong to carry all these. I guess I got carried away.

I feel things, that is my job. Your job is to know the facts so I'm sure you're aware of this. I can't help but. Her, being a Pisces, certainly did not help. I felt like I have the capability to overpower you, in whatever way possible. I'd like to believe I did. Do you?

I give out emotions. Sometimes too soon and too intense all at the same time. I give out hope because that is what I know. It's beautiful and I love beautiful things. I am vulnerable, it is an amazing feeling to be vulnerable.

A few years ago, I sense that I broke down. It might be my fault, it might be his fault, but I know no black and white. I suppose it was because of everything mingled into one beautiful dance. Maybe it's my time to break, you know? What with the ability for me to do it all over again and heal myself. Maybe that was the time you took over me.

So, again I'd like to say I'm sorry. Maybe we both can work it out together somehow?

Sincerely,

Heart

Sincerely, Brain (1/3)

Dear Heart,

I won. Stop denying me, I won. Look at you. Don't be sad. Please. Logic is in all ways superior to feelings. Deep down inside, I know you know it too.

Maybe your reasoning tells you that this happens because of that one guy. Maybe you got too carried away with your feelings and you let me take over and run everything. To that, I'd like to say that you are wrong. Please stop with the reasoning because you cannot do it properly.

I'm not trying to stand on one side and think I'm right and you're wrong. It might be different for you but I can't help it if I see everything as black and white. I see facts, I deduce them and come to a conclusion. From that process, I pass on judgments. The verdict remains. I am right. Therefore, you are wrong.

So far, there are no jerks that got in the way. No unnecessary problems and worries and stupid feelings. Everything is breezy. Wake up, do things, go back to sleep. No stupid fights, no energy is missing on things that don't matter.

So, I shall always be the ruler because there is always reason behind every reaction and action. That is my part. I work out reasons. I will work this out. No hard feelings (I guess, that's what you say right?). You can chill out now.

Sincerely,

Brain.

Language in Relationship - Stream of Consciousness

Welcome to a new segment called Stream of Consciousness, inspired by the ever-so-amazing Grace Helbig! Stream of Consciousness is basically a piece of writing where there are some topics, a little key points, and no structure. Conclusion is left up to reader's discretion. Let's jump right in, shall we?

Just to set the scene, today we're talking about language in relationships (if it will ever get to that).

I'm not a native English speaker. My first language is Bahasa Indonesia and my second language is Javanese. These two languages are the ones that I know all my life, the first because it's 'compulsory' and the second because since my brother and I were in my mum's belly, she's been talking to us in Javanese. English is my third language and I did not incorporate English in my everyday life until I was 15. It's been six years but I still don't consider myself fluent in English at all.

Sometimes, I still have to translate what I want to say from Bahasa to English. Then, because the grammar is quite different, I realised what I just translated in my head doesn't make any sense... So I just go into a momentary brain fart before I can compose a sentence. This is also why I have anxiety in any situation where I have to speak in front of a large group of people. I grew up not realising I have this anxiety because I grew up in a small town and went to the same school with pretty much the same people for 11 years. When I moved, my classes in high school were small and very understanding of ESL students so I was comfortable. University, on the other hand, do not have the same tolerance level because everyone is hold to the same standard. This semester, I'm taking 1 course where your participation is assessed. Every time I'm in the class, my heart beats really fast for an hour long and I only have the energy to contribute once every class. Every time I speak up, I try so hard to listen to what I was saying but sometimes it's so hard it feels like an out-of-body experience. And once I finish speaking, I would feel some sort of pain or tingling sensation on my chest. Fun fun for everyone!

Anyway, this leads me to think about relationships. I am currently single and not mingling, so there is no problem. But, I have seen many couples that are (old) white men with (younger) women that does not speak English very well. I am sure they understand but they have a hard time composing reply (like what I just said before in my case, maybe).

How do I know this?

I work in a cafe that sells Indonesian cuisine and a lot of said couples come by and order. Every single time, it would be the men doing all the ordering, while the ladies just nodding and pointing to the menu. Sometimes, I'm just too curious so I try and engage in conversation with the ladies but many times I was replied by confused looks and them also looking to their men to answer the questions that I directed at them. Then, I come to think of one problem that I still don't get.

How can you be in a relationship with someone who cannot communicate with you?

Sure, you have body language. Well, yes, you both understand each other. However, it seems a little harder when one of you just understand but at the same time has a hard time to reply. I mean, if the relationship is not serious, I guess it's fine??

Personally, one of the most important thing in a relationship is communication. You're bringing two different souls into one weird concoction and it seems impossible without the two of you exchanging in verbal communication. This is not even just for romantic relationship, but also friendship and professional relations.

What do you do with your significant other, then, if you can't even have a conversation with them? How patient are you to explain and get your meaning across? Do you ever get tired? Is it hard at all? What do you talk about? Do you talk to each other often?

I have a friend from Thailand. Her mum is from Thailand and her stepdad is from Norway. Her mum understand English but has a hard time speaking (which is common for Asian, heck that is also me sometimes). She also doesn't feel comfortable speaking in English. Her English is sometimes broken. (I also would like to say that she is one of the best cooks and all her food is mind-blowing). My friend's stepdad understands very little Thai and her mum understands very little Norsk. But above it all, they seem happily married and everything is cool. How does that work?

Some of my friends that are Aussie native and sometimes their jokes and idioms goes over my head. When that happens, sometimes they're really nice and they will explain but it kills the mood because the joke that was supposed to be 'the bomb' got bombed. So is that what happen in a relationship where one party is a passive communicator (understands but not so good with replying)? The mood just always down and you have to explain everything to them? That doesn't sound like fun. What happens if you make a joke? Do you laugh with each other? Does the sarcasm goes through?

Also, how do you ever fight? Because I feel like if you never actually communicate with each other, there's nothing to fight about. Also, the fight will be sort of pointless because it's one sided. Do you argue? How does that go?

I don't know why but I'm just so interested to know about all this. If you could have some insight in the comments below that would be really appreciated.

Well, so far, those are the only questions in my head in this topic. Hope you enjoy the first instalment of Stream of Consciousness!

Easy DIY: No-Sew Phone Case

 I was scrolling through Buzzfeed yesterday night and I found this article about easy no sew DIY projects. I have been wanting to do some DIY projects since I am still on my Easter Break procrastinating (as per usual). I decided to do one of the projects: Duct Tape Phone Case.

I follow the steps from this original article. The steps are all written clearly with pictures along the way to make sure that you can follow easily and correctly.

Here are the main materials that you will need:

1. A piece fabric of your choice. You can even use your old clothes or a blanket, make it more cosy and sentimental. You will probably need about 20cm x 25cm but it all depends on the size of your phone
2. Duct tape. You can use the usual ones but the pattern and colour duct tapes are a lot more fun to see.
3. Scissors
4. Stapler
5. Velcro

And these are just in case you need it: fabric glue and glitter tape

I'm not going to bore you with the steps because that would also be plagiarism. Not really, I just don't think I can do any better explaining the steps than the original article did. So you should really check the link out!

I did mine in about 2 hours and though it is not the best, I am really pleased with the result! It looks cute outside and the inside.

It is a little bit too big for my phone but I am glad that I made it a little bigger. I think I can use the extra space in the pouch to carry earphones, cards or some money when I am in a hurry. 

One thing to know is that this case is in no way will protect from bumps and falls. This is more of a pouch that it is a case. If you fancy it, you can also add some wrist or shoulder strap to it. Also, it is quite hard to keep the velcro in place on the duct tape side for me. The fabric glue did a good job on the fabric side. However, the duct tape side does not really work with fabric glue. I ended up stapling the velcro to keep it firm then use the glitter tape to hide the staples. It looks good as an accented point as well!

Don't forget to try this for yourself. It is insanely easy and appropriate for kids project (with adult supervision). Also, the result is lovely!

CRAFT!

Last Week's Food: Lonsdale Street Roasters and Gelatissimo

Welcome back to the new segment of Last Week's Food!

I've been upping my photos skill for this segment and took time to edit it a little bit so it looks prettier than what it actually is. So, here we go:

Last Sunday, a friend of my friend came to town for a visit. She wanted to go to places that is very Canberra so we took her to Lonsdale Street Roasters/Eatery!

Lonsdale is a street in Braddon, ACT, where you can find many people hangout at nights and weekends at heaps of cool cafe and eatery. There are a lot of choices for food around the suburb, from vegan to all-meat, Asian to French, outdoor or indoor, you make the decision. 

For brunch last week, I opt for the classic grilled/roasted salmon and eggs Benedict with corn bread. If you're worried about the small portion size of cafe's foods, don't be. You get plenty at Lonsdale Street Roasters. As you can see you get 2 blocks of salmon belly, a big corn bread, and 2 eggs Benedict. It was yummy and soo fulfilling. 

Lonsdale is famous for its coffee. Sadly, I did not order it last time. My friend did but I forgot to take a picture of it. It smells delicious, though!

Instead of coffee, I ordered a chai latte (my go-to drink). Look at this gorgeous glass of chai latte. Also, check out the little spoon! There is a mini vintage car at the end of the spoon. A great attention to detail. 

The cafe is also pet friendly. There are many people bringing their dogs to enjoy the breakfast with them. However, I'm not sure if there is a special food for the pets. Anyway, this is one of the greatest cutest dog we saw that day. I think that's a great dane? Or a Dalmatian? Anyway, it was bigger than the table and so calm and super adorable. 

The rest of the week was not that special in terms of food. I spent a lot of time in the library doing assignment so I did not take pretty pictures. Also, the food wasn't that special.

But I got some vouchers of buy-1-get-1-free Gelatissimo and decided to use it. You know, college kids mentality. Wherever discount is present, we are there. It's been such a long time since I had Gelatissimo. As per usual, I bought the classic chocolate flavour gelato and it was heavenly. (Sorry the cup is dirty, I was half way eating)

Anyway, that was a look back of the food (with better quality photos). Sorry it was only from 2 different place but hopefully you guys enjoy this post! x

Last Week's Food

Here's a little post about the food that I took a picture of last week.

Guzman y Gomez was having $5 burrito for 5 days. As a true college student with a budget, of course I have to go and reap the benefits. Out of the 5 days, I went twice. Seriously, it was the best. First of all, Guzman y Gomez burrito is heavenly good. Then, it's half priced. Nothing is better than this. I went for pork burrito bowl and spicy chicken burrito (not pictured). They were amazing. 

I was craving Japanese food on weekend so I order a sashimi salad for takeaway. It's been a loong time since I've had sashimi and boy-oh-boy, was it good. You know when you're craving something that you haven't had in a long time, the food suddenly taste so good? That was what happened. 

Lastly, a good old Indonesian fried rice (nasi goreng) with a sunny side up. A little something to make me miss home a little less. 

I'm thinking of doing this every week or maybe every other week. I don't eat takeouts everyday but the food that I cook doesn't look pretty. But hopefully one day I'll be confident enough to share my cooking on here. For now, these are the food I enjoyed last week!

Some of The Things That I Learnt in 2014

I learnt that...

• I'm a lazy ass mofo. I mean, I always know that I am but this year that really shines through like nothing else. 

• Summer has more rain than winter.

• Much to my dismay, I love finance more than accounting. I actually enjoy it (my grades might not reflect that fact in a very distinctive manor but hey) and even considered dropping one major to get another but I didn't go through with it. 

• Sleeping late every night is not a good thing to do. Sadly, I realised this a little too late. I got sick twice this year which is ridiculous because the first year I was here I was healthy all year long.

• I can cook decent and tasty meal from scratch. I mean, boiled pasta with instant sauce and sausage are good enough for me when I want it quick and easy. But knowing you can treat yourself to a delish pan grilled salmon is a good knowledge to have.

• As much as I like being on my own in my room, I hate silence. I literally put Spotify all day everyday, all, the time. 

• It is nicer to be the passenger than the driver. I took driving lessons in June/July and dang it, it was stressful. I nearly crash into a motorcycle. Lucky it did not happen.

• I sometimes talk trash about my hometown/home-country; the corruptions, traffic, yadayada. But I love it so so much. Last winter was the first time I spent all my holiday at my first home. It was the best holiday I've had so far that I cried for the first time when I was at the airport. 

• I'm horrible at catching up with friends (sorry about that) and that it is nice to see old friends that you haven't seen in forever. I went to my brother's university for his graduation and I met some of my junior high school best friends that I haven't seen in so long. It was nice. 

• That you can't fool your heart. You can keep going and tell yourself to stop loving, or to an extreme of hating. Feelings do not become invalid just because you tell yourself that you should not feel them anymore. Some might think love is stupid, but love is love. And you should not deny your own feeling, that is other people's job. You don't have to do it to yourself. Doesn't matter if it was 2 years ago or 7 years ago, if it's still there, enjoy it. If it hurts, enjoy it like you did when it didn't hurt. Basically, just stop lying to yourself. 

Cheers to whatever happened to this freakishly quick year! :)

At First Sight

I love you at that time
you shook my hand
and say your name.
It still lingers
in my mind, in my heart,
the way your eyes were so calm.
The way you smile.
I remember your hands firmly
shaking mine like a memory foam
was embedded in my hand

I love you at that time
our eyes locked.
You remember who I was and
you smile.
I hesitated, trying
not to keep my hopes up.
I remember
your smile,
before the moment got interrupted.

I love you in between
all that time.
All the time.

I love you just then
when you looked around the room.
When once again our
eyes locked, smiles exchanged.
The heart died a little when
I realise you don't remember.
The heart died a little
more when you were walking
away.

I love you at that time
I love you in between
I love you still and
I hope for always.

FP

Braddon, 18 August 2014

04.03 AM FH S859

A Little Thoughts about The Fault In Our Stars

I've been following The Vlogbrothers for a few years now and for the record I love Hank and John Green. I think they both are brilliant people who have visions to change the world little by little, they are not afraid to express themselves as who they are and I admire that from them.

Now, on to The Fault in Our Stars (or TFIOS). I did not read this book. In fact, I have not read any of the book that John Green wrote. I have nothing against them, I'm sure they're beautiful but I don't know why I have not had the urge to read it even though lots of my friends recommended it to me numerous times. From The Vlogbrothers videos that John's featured in, I really love his thoughts from places where he shows clips of his journey and he voiced it over and everything sounds beautiful. So his wordsmith talent is not a question anymore.

I watched TFIOS on its premiere here because one of my best friend reaally wanted to see it. I came in there and saw a lot of girls from age 13 to grandmoms. John Green is relevant to all ages, I thought in the beginning.

I'm not going to talk a lot about the movies. I think the movie is pretty cool. The story line doesn't have a lot of plot twist but I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to have a lot of them.

Anyway, I was sitting there thinking about Esther (RIP). Esther Earl is the girl that inspires John Green to write The Fault in Our Stars. And I was thinking... do these people know about her?

Since the first time the book gain mass recognition, I seldom heard her name mentioned by the fans of the book. Some of my friends who read it did not even know that this book was inspired by her.

Which is really sad. Also, I came to the movies knowing a little bit of Esther's story. I don't know about the book, but the movie focuses a lot on the love story between Hazel and Augustus. I have nothing against that, you know, it's a beautiful but sad love story with a bitter sweet ending, which sells.

But I was thinking that this story is talking a lot more than just cancer patients who're trying to survive and live a normal life and make it a beautiful one. I agree on that message that we have to make our lives as beautiful as it can be, seize the moments, because you really do only live once. But, I was just thinking that it's a lot more than that.

(From the movie) Hazel and Augustus talks about oblivion, about Augustus who wanted to make impact in the world and be well known and change something and make things better despite his condition and all his problems. And towards the end, when Hazel was saying that you can't change everyone's lives in your one life but you can change people around you and make them better and that is also okay. That making small changes, changing people's lives around you and making it better by just a little bit is as important as the big gestures. That you don't have to be remembered by everybody in the world but be remembered by people you love and love you back.

These are the things that I wished to see highlighted in the movie (again, because I haven't read the book). Mostly, because I feel like this is the essence of Esther's life. She might not made such big gestures, go on campaign or things like that. She did small things, she inspires people who are close to her, she makes people around her feel better and slowly she's making an impact on the rest of the world. And now, she is known and she is celebrated for the way she was. Even with her gone, I'm very sure that she's still make a difference in people's lives because she is the star that will not go out.

And I want people to know that and understand that through the book or the movie because that's who she was, that's who she is. I want people to know that there's more layers to the book than just the love story or the "metaphor". There is Esther's wisdom and that will live forever.

R.I.P. Esther Grace Earl  http://

Toilet RANT

If you have been reading my blog for quite some time, you know that I'm in uni and I live in a residential hall/college. And today, I would like to just rant about the toilet. Yup. Classic.

My hall is co-ed, so boys and girls are all welcome here. We're also a mixed of international student, like I am, and also inter-state students. So, different backgrounds and culture, yay for diversity!

The difference between my hall and others would be that it is like living in a hotel, with no bathroom, TV or kitchen inside. In fact, my hall used to be a hotel in the olden days, used to housed single young public sector workers here where I live. So, it has 10 stories, one floor would have around 26 people, and we have to share bathroom.

So, I'm gonna give you background about the bathrooms so that you can create a mental image for yourself (if you want). We have three different categories: male, female and unisex. Inside there are one shower room, one shower room with a bathtub, and two toilets. My room is closer to the unisex so I can speak for both female and unisex bathroom.

And, OH, MY, GAWD! Some people are disgusting.

Warning: it will get really disgusting from here. You've been warned.

Almost every night I come in and see "water" on the seat and on the floor. One time, I stepped in a poodle of "water" and I threw my thongs right away. I also have seen what I would call the consequences of getting wasted all over the place. And the number two not being flushed properly.

In my first year, when I first see such things, I thought to myself, maybe they were just having a really bad day. Then I had a bad day and I didn't do any of that. When I see that all those occurs quite regularly, I began to narrow it down. The unisex bathrooms are far from the others. Only quite a few people use it because others will go according to the genders. Out of those many people I couldn't help but think of who's doing so many harm to a shared environment.

Like, do they not realise that after they're done, other people will use the same thing? For the same purpose?

Did they ever think about how they would feel when they see the toilet all messy? How would they feel if they have to step on "water" on the floor?

And, lastly, are the guys REALLY trying to aim???

Because everything is just all over the place but not in the right place. Pee on the floor, on the seat, tissues everywhere. Chaotic.

I mean what is so hard about flushing? It's not like we have to pour water ourself, it's just a lever you need to pull it down and water will flow. Like, really?? Do you not do that at home? I'm pretty sure you started to do that by the age of 3 because flushing is fun as a child. Or maybe not. I was thinking the other day, maybe those people have their own bathroom in their room that they never have to clean themselves. So, maybe, they have this bathroom in their room and after they use it for any reason at all, other people will come and clean it for them so when they need to use it next time it's all clean and fresh and beautiful.

Anyway, the point is, if you live in a share house or a residential college/hall or in a place where you need to share bathroom, please PLEASE be considerate. Think about your friends around you who will definitely have to use the same toilet as you. Don't be a selfish jerk, you're way better than that.

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The 1st Quarter of 2014

Inevitable procrastination blogpost!

Here are some things that happened to me in March 2014! :D

One of my best friends, Anita, and I used to have the same classes on our first year. Sadly, this year, we're taking different courses so we can't see each other a lot during the week. So, we arrange catch-up lunch every two weeks on Friday for us to chill and stuff.

The picture below was in February, I think. The sky was a bit grey and gloomy and it was windy. We were sitting down in one of the ovals around campus, chatting and watching the Japanese play softball. That was our view.

We also heard a man playing bagpipe so we decided to walk to the source of the music. We found a man playing bagpipe by the river. It was so unexpected yet peaceful at the same time.

Then, my hall had a commencement dinner. It's a formal welcoming party held every year by each colleges. Ours was in Australian Institute of Sport. This year, we actually sat down and had dinner and it was way better than the year before.

Because it's a formal event, we had the chance to dress up a little bit and looked all fancy-like.

I also was given the opportunity to be one of the committee member of Konferensi Internasional Pelajar Indonesia 2014. The event went great, I met lots of important and soon-to-be-important people and made lots of new friends. This is my first ever conference and it was great to sit down in the room and listen to people's presentation. I got the chance to be in the Politics and Culture sub-theme (but as a committee so I just sit down and make sure everything runs according to schedule) but it was great to hear new ideas and discussion. We also had workshops and seminars and a closing lunch event in KBRI and everything was so much fun.

The committee, participants and important people in Balai Kartini, KBRI. 

Then, right after KIPI finished, I had potluck night with church choir peeps. We ate some delicious food, yummy and beautiful dessert that Tiffany made, and played board games until 1AM in the morning. We played Catan, which was voted the best game of 2013 or 2012. But, it was the most confusing game ever and I don't understand a thing. Good thing I was in a team with JJ, who know it so well and we won :)

We also played Taboo which is waaaaayy better than Catan and it opened our eyes to the other side of each other's mind. We ended the night watching weird videos on YouTube.

And, that's the highlights so far!

I have assignment due in a week that I haven't started and mid-semester exam in 2 weeks that I haven't prepared.

So, yeah, work hard play harder and wish all of us (me and you) bunch of luck!

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Happy Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day Massacre! (if you get this reference, comment below so I can give you lots of cool points)

It's the February 14 and you can smell the love in the air. The smell of chocolate, flowers, alcohol, and tears of happiness and sadness. It's the commercial holiday that was created so that the florists, card maker company, chocolate and alcohol producer will be rich because there is no more holidays until the end of the year again.

I'm just going to share my Valentine's day with you guys because why not? ;)

I just got back from home to home yesterday where I spent almost 11 hours sitting down (I'll get down to details in another post). I got the same room that I got last year which is soo nice because I love this room. I also got new set of curtains in the color of navy blue (which is my favorite color). Oh, and I also have Joel as my SR which is uhmazing because he's the only SR that I know best.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be unpacking today. I've been quite a good girl and unpacked one box and a small suitcase yesterday. But it's Valentine's Day, I have better things to do than unpacking.

So, I spent most of my time sleeping. I slept for about 14 hours today which was so fun. Then, Sarah came back so I talked to her and helped her move her stuff because she moved floor (which is very sad). Later at night, Pauline, Khadeeja, and I went to Sarah's room and terrorised Khadeeja to clean her room and ran down the fire exit to her room. How exciting.

After that, I came back to my room decided to locked it and sang along to my iTunes. Joel knocked on my door to gave me fake noise complaint which failed miserably. Then Lip Yi, Joel and I went to his room about to watch 12 Years a Slave (I have no idea what this is but it sounds like a good movie with a sad story line). That plan also failed. Instead, we ended up having a karaoke session and sang along to Disney songs, Queen's, A Thousand Miles, What What In The Butt, Super Bass, and Wrecking Ball (with me putting water on my face as tears)

That ended, and I have been sitting down in front of my laptop listening to songs while talking to my chums (NaNadine) and my best friends (MeiThasya) on WhatsApp. Oh, international love.

I was about to watch Camp Takota starring the holy trinity; Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, and Mamrie Hart. Sadly, I don't have my ethernet cable yet and my wifi sucks.

Anyway guys, how is/was your Valentines Day? Tell me down in the comments below for me to read so I don't feel sad :')

Hope you nice people have an amazing Valentine's Day!

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I Don't Like Beauty Salons

I hate beauty salons.

Okay, it's a strong word. Let me rephrase. I dislike beauty salons.
I only cut my hair once a year. The maximum would be three times if I ever bothered to get it trimmed. Every time I have to go to a salon, I need someone else to come with me because I hate it. (yes, I'm a girl and I'm almost 20)

Why do I hate salons?

The place is full of judgemental looking people. I have no idea about hair care/regime/products/and so on. And, because the salon is only 5 minutes from my house by motor cycle, I always go there with shorts and my brother's old t-shirt that looks baggy on me. You would not think that I'm a girl who knows fashion and/or beauty when you see me. (But that is literally who I am)

The receptionist in salons always looks like they know everything and they will judge you by how you look. They ask me what I want and I was like, "I want a cut". Then they always look at me like I haven't finished my sentence.

After quite a long pause, then they would ask you if you want a wash, and a blow dry, do you want treatment or color, who is your preferred hairdresser, and so on and so forth. To which I would answer, yes, maybe, no, I don't know... And the receptionist would look at me like I'm a 3 year old child.

Everyone who come in and out of salons when I'm in one would always know everything. They would know the receptionists (first and foremost). If the receptionist says something along the lines of, "You have to wait for (insert hairdresser name)", those people would walk right to the person and chat to them like they're some old friend (but you wouldn't be able to hear it).

What are they talking about???

Next. I don't know if this is just me or do other people's hairdresser would do whatever they think looks good on you? Maybe because I cut my hair only once a year (or less) that I don't get the same hairdresser every time?

Like, last time I cut my hair, the hairdresser asked me how I want to cut it. I answered, "Just cut it shoulder length, one length."
Next thing I know he started to explain all this things he's going to do with my hair because he said one length cut would look to stiff around my face and because I didn't want to argue, I just smiled sheepishly which he translated it as a yes.

Then comes the blow dry, which was pleasant just like when they wash your hair :)

When I came out of the salon, like most girls would feel, I hated my hair cut.
But I would come again at some point in time...
Oh the dilemma.

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Here's To 2014!

It’s still January but holy smokes January is going so fast. I like January because it’s a symbol of a new fresh start, the first month of a new year, untouched for another 329 days. But, I also dislike January because it’s one of the fastest months ever.

Enough with the month January, I want to talk more about a new fresh start and a little bit of flash back on 2013.

Last year was the first time I live on my own and the second time away from home. I also did new things that I have never done before, good or bad. It’s kind of fair to say that I have come out a little bit out of my comfort zone. I also learned a lot of lesson that is very useful.

I met new people, I lived in a new foreign culture, I had to make my own day-to-day decision, I had to work with new people and learnt to get along with them, I wrote on my blogs, I went on auditions for musicals and work backstage, I tried new things. Honestly, none of he things that I did had anything to do with the major that I’m studying. But it was my life-long dream and my passion and I was happy and I will never regret it.

However, there are many many areas for me to work on. There are loads of things to improve on that are important to me as well. And because “Stop Procrastinating” and “Don’t be Lazy” are the most vague resolution ever, here goes:

• Make study #1 priority. With all the free time and the free will, I realised that I focused a lot on my passion (which is not a bad thing) but I kind of set aside the most important thing in life right now: my education. I was not proud of some my grades this year. This year, I will try my hardest to make it my first priority because I’m a student and study is what I (am supposed to) do.

• Stop sacrificing sleep. I know deep down I was not made to be one of the cool kids. I can’t function when I stay up late. But I sacrifice my health for my friends. I stay up late when they do so and regret it the next morning, I had maybe more than 5 times last year when I didn’t go to sleep until the morning has broken.

• Cook and eat right. This is the first year of living independently so I have to cook too. I am a lazy ass and I always think that it will be more practical to buy food than to cook them. Even if I cook, I always chose the easiest things like pasta, frozen and fried food. This year, I will get down and get dirty IN THE KITCHEN and cook my ass off, to be healthy and to learn to be a good housewife :3

• Exercise. Because last year I would have done nothing like the last quarter of the year if it was not for the intense training of the musical.

In short, get better academically and be healthy. I know this might sounds really basic to you but not to me. I hope that I could do all this because this year I’m turning 20! (brb freaking out) And I want to settle the basic things because I will not kid around anymore since I won’t be a kid no more in a few months.

So, here’s to 2014! To a better year, a better life, and a better us! 

Don’t forget to tell me your resolutions down in the comments or tweet me @sisiska☺

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A Little Flashback for 2013

• 1:What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?
• I live on my own
• 2:Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
• I did not  :( and I will. 
• 3:Did anyone close to you give birth?
• My friend's sister did.
• 4:Did anyone close to you die?
• Thank God, no. 
• 5:What countries did you visit?
• Australia, Singapore, Indonesia
• 6:What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013
• I would like to have the flipping will and motivation to do things
• 7:What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
• Feb 8: the first day in Australia, Aug 8 to 18: my first musical experience as a performer, Aug 22: mid year ball and the man I met after that, Winter break: meeting my best friends and Summer break: meeting my chums
• 8:What was your biggest achievement of the year?
• Surviving a year of living alone, a year in uni and performing in a musical
• 9:What was your biggest failure?
• Not getting the marks I wanted 
• 10:Did you suffer illness or injury?
• I fell from my bike
• 11:What was the best thing you bought?
• This year? tickets to home
• 12:Whose behaviour merited celebration?
• What?
• 13:Whose behaviour made you appalled?
• That guy who broke my heart
• 14:Where did most of your money go?
• food and tickets to home
• 15:What did you get really, really, really excited about?
• Anything about the musical, coming home, meeting family and friends
• 16:What song will always remind you of 2013?
• Any Macklemore songs will do
• 17:Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
• a) sadder than usual but happier too at times b) thinner until mid year then fatter c) relative
• 18:What do you wish you’d done more of?
• Studying. 
• 19:What do you wish you’d done less of?
• Doing nonsense, watching youtube videos
• 20:How did you spend Christmas?
• Spent it with my family back home. 
• 21:Did you fall in love in 2013?
• I did not
• 22:What was your favourite TV program?
• Bones, the classic American version of Whose Line Is It
• 23:Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
• Definitely 
• 24:What was the best book you read?
• I re-read Titanium, that. 
• 25:What was your greatest musical discovery?
• Justin Timberlake's new album tbh
• 26:What did you want and get?
• New friends, chance to go home
• 27:What did you want and not get?
• Great grades, a job
• 28:What was your favourite film of this year?
• Iron Man 3, Thor The Dark World
• 29:What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
• CATS The Musical!
• 30:How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
• Wear all things you see first
• 31:What kept you sane?
• My best friends and my chums, TV shows
• 32:Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
• Benedict Cumberbatch, David Tennant, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake and Macklemore
• 33:What political issue stirred you the most?
• The Indonesian political situation
• 34:Who did you miss?
• All my friends and my family
• 35:Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
• You can and able. Don't hang around people who don't value your effort or trust. 
• 36:Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
• "When the dawn comes, tonight will be a memory too. Look! A new day has begun..."

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What (Best) Friends Are For

To be honest, all along this year I was a wreck. Call me whatever but I just had what you people call a heartbreak for the first time. Almost everyday of this year my heart is very heavy and I could feel it weighing down in my chest. It doesn't matter how hard I sing and dance or how loud I laugh with my friends, I could feel it holding my chest down.

I'm home now and I just spent almost one whole day with my loveliest chummies. I have not seen them in a almost a year and I was literally dreading to meet them this holiday.

See, I'm not that good of a friend, I suppose. I really am not good at all the catching up with friends thing. Not that I don't like them or anything, I love my friends but sometimes I leave things that I do in the middle of things happening around me, I really don't know how to explain it. I'm just not good at that.

That, and me being an introvert, I don't really share things with my friends that I'm not close to. My two chums might be the only friends that know almost every little detail about me. Also, they're the only two friends that can tell how I would react to things. And this holiday, is the ultimate of them all.

Remember how I said I was fighting to heal myself from eternal heartbreak? That one day I spent with them heal it in an instant. A proof that best friends (or any shoulder to lean on) will heal you from heart break and to love them is like the best thing ever.

A day before we meet, one of my chummy texted me. She told me that she'd been talking to a guy that broke her heart. I told her in an instant that I did too. We literally were going through the same flipping thing!

The next day, we arrived at our best camp a.k.a my chum's house. The first thing that came out of her mouth? "Why is xxx keep liking your pictures on Instagram? What is wrong with him?" At that second, I know that I'm home.

We spent the whole day talking, telling stories, making up metaphors about wind, and every five minutes I wanted to borrow knives or scissors (jokez guys). Each and every minute, I feel my weight is being lift up and the hole in my heart is slowly but surely closing itself. I laugh again, this time for real.

By the end of the day, I feel like everything has gone and my life is up for a new start.
And, I thank God for this two loveliest chummies that has been in my life since I was 4 years old.

Whether it's 3cm or 3000km apart, they are and will always be right there. They never treat me any differently or even left me out of anything in each other's lives. You will always be my healer. I hope we will always grow old together and support each other. I love you guys!

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Frankie's Guide To Get Things Done

Whello blovers!

I'm on my summer holiday right now. Thankfully, I'm pass that point where you can't go to sleep and stay awake every night and day thinking about your result. My result is soo average this semester. Honestly, I'm disappointed with myself but at the same time felt grateful.

This semester is absolute fuckery for me. Everything got harder. Macroeconomics is still a blur for me until today, ICL (an intro to law module) is overwhelming, I mean I like writing but not that kind of writing... And as my defence mechanism, I left everything to the last flipping minute and hope for the best. Thank God, I still pass everything.

I mean, everyone who goes to my uni kind of know that it is harddd to get the top band but it is not impossible (in my faculty, at least). So, I believe I could've done better but it was in the past so I'm giving myself a chance to move on, for the better hopefully.

And now, while I reflect to myself and making this as my goal for next year, I'll share tips to hopefully improve things and shizzles for school and uni:

1. Do not study anywhere in your room. Why? You might have the seclusion and the comfort but all these are traps! I've been doing this for a year and it didn't work. It's mostly because I know I have all things to entertain myself in my room. Entertainment vs. study? Well, unconsciously, you will end up choosing entertainment.

2. Go away from your dorm/house to study. Library is a good place. Some of the reason is/are: no access to food (the first thing I look for), no access to talk to people (because everyone else is doing the same thing), everyone else is doing the same thing so you're not out of place. And you know that little box cubicle thing? Those things are miracle worker for me! I know it sounds weird but it is. It restrict my view and my space so it makes me more efficient ;)

3. Eat before you do things. Do not do things while eating or having snack. I mean, I love to eat. I eat all the time if the circumstances is helping me to do it. It's a distraction, that's all there is to it.

4. Making plans is good, actually sticking to them is better. I love love love to plan out my day from waking up to going back to sleep. But, the chance of me actually doing the things I wrote is very very slim. This needs to change, tbh.

5. Your social media network can wait. Hell, nobody talks to you on social media. Just kidding! In all seriousness though, they can wait. You don't have to refresh Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and your email every 5 minutes. If you don't check it every 5 minutes, it will still be there so don't worry!

6. Other things like the show that you're trying to finish can wait too!

7. Get away from phone and put it on silent. It doesn't matter if you miss phone calls. It's not like you pick them up ever anyway. (I'm not mean guys! I have this weird phobia of picking up phone calls because of a thing I can't tell you :P)

8. Actually start doing shit!

So, there you go everyone (including myself). Do all steps, read and write every word like it's the best thing that came out of you ever! Don't forget to comment below and share your tips to get things done :)

happy holidays

xx

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Halloween, Jamie Oliver Jamie's Italian, and more!

Warning: there will be lots of picture in this post

It's the FINAL EXAM PERIOD or most commonly known as biggest freak out period of the year or getting little to no sleep or too much sleep there is no in between.

And that is my excuse for not posting since almost a month ago, but I'm back in my precious procrastination time so I can dwell in this den and write a wee bit!

So October was Halloween! What did I do for Halloween, you say? Nothing! :)

Why? Because I never celebrated Halloween and I really don't see the significance of it for me...no offence on all the people who celebrate Halloween, though.

I did, however, become a zombie for one day! (I guess, this was my attempt to appreciate a tradition?). The college/hall that I live in now have annual musical and this year I helped for backstage hands. We're doing Reefer Madness musical and there are zombies in the plot so us as backstage hands thought it would be great to be a part of the walking dead troops with fake blood (that is made from chocolate and golden syrup, yum!) and makeup :)

Excuse my camwhoreness but do I look pretty dead yet?

Then, the weekend before exam week, we went to Jamie Oliver's restaurant, Jamie's Italian. The town that I live in is having a soft opening and one of my best friend here works there. She invited us to come down and indulge in what I call, beautiful food. Just appreciate that...

It was pretty amazing indeed. I really like the ambience of the place because it looks formal from the outside, but actually it's really laid-back inside. Also, the portion size is playing mind tricks with people if you're not aware of it. 

Jamie Oliver is pretty famous for his healthy recipes. His restaurant is obviously promoting the same thing. One mind trick they used is the proportion size vs. the plate size. If you have ever dined in Jamie's Italian, you probably know that the plate is humongous. It's not just big, it's huge. However, the lay the food flat so it looks like you're eating a lot because your plate is so big but the portion of the food itself is small to medium. So, you still think you're eating a lot and you're full.

Then a few days before the exams, the APO (Academic Program Officers) in my hall dropped a study-survival kit. Look at that! All 550 students get that pack! It's really cute :3

And one of my best friends also bought us cakes from Dobinsons bakery (best thing in town) and I got a chocolate cheesecake that is just so beautiful and so delicious!

Then, I have my exams two days in a row (and one of them is Saturday! Major bummer). After my exam on Saturday, I bought a bubble tea, chocolate milk tea from Chatime and walk home because the weather was gorgeous. It reminded me a lot of my high school time when I would do the same thing after a long/hard day...

And what better way to end the story with a picture of a park (or a forrest, like seriously it's just full of rows and rows of huge-tall trees) with the sun ready to set in and a red blob of ray of sunshine :)

That's all there is for now guys :) I would love to know what you guys did for Halloween and also what is you favourite guilty pleasure drink, food or dessert? Let me know in the comments below!

Good luck! Have a great week and wish me luck for exams!

xx

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