Counting On You

Have you ever felt like so sad because you missed something really important and you should not miss them? Well, I do.

It feels like I've missed some of important issues for being a teenager, Indonesian teenager, in Indonesia. I miss so many things that my friends are dealing with now. And I feel really bad for not being there for them as before. I also feel so bad because I wanna know how my life is going to be if I'm still in Indonesia right now.

I mean, how's life going to be different if I'm not here, anyway? What about meeting friends from other country? What about being so success in you own country with not so much knowledge on outside? What about going to a scholarship from you own country, or maybe from a different country?

How does it feel to deal with love? How does it feel to deal with boys and girls problem? Well, it's not that I want to have a boy beside me to make my life SEEMS perfect. That's not how a perfect life is inside my mind, if I only do that for myself. Selfish, you know.

Well, sometimes you will think, as a teenager, it will be nice to have someone there next to you every time. Someone who understands you and you can discuss anything with them. Some people call it boyfriend or girlfriend. But it's not that shallow. You can have some called best friends and siblings to talk to. They also can understand you. They are humans, by the way.

But, why some teenager feels bad if they don't have any boyfriend or girlfriend? They need to open up their mind, really. Well, there always be somebody out there waiting for you. And if that person really has the piece of your heart, that person is yours. It's just about time whether you will find that Mr. or Mrs. Right fast enough or takes time. I know it sounded a little bit old fashioned but it's true. You will when you believe.

I always wanted to know how my life will be different if I wasn't here. Or maybe if I'm in a whole new world, like USA, Europe, or countries that don't use English much. Will it be the same? Or different? But yeah, being here is just great. This is a great opportunity that God has given to me and my family. He works every time in my life and I'm so grateful that I have Him in my life.

And also sometimes I feel so bad when my friends have something really bad and I can't help them because I don't know much about their real life again. Is distance that cruel? I mean, it separates us. I know Indonesia and Singapore isn't that far. But it costs much. And it's not easy to catch up with your new environment and you still want to be updated with stuffs from your old world. That is exactly what is happening to me. When you were the good one in your old world and you are no one in your new world? It's weird but that's how life should be :D

We go up and down every time. Just remember that God won't give anything that you can not handle. Every thing in our life has been written in our book of life by God. So, everything is His blessing, even the smallest thing that happen to us.