Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya

Last Valentine's Day, I went to have dinner with a few good senior friends of mine. We talked nonsense for a good 4 hours and honestly, it was a great Valentine's Day because of them.

We talked about good Indonesian song and stumbled on one popular song by Tulus. A love song titled, Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya (which loosely translates to 'don't love me for who I am'). One of my friend claimed that it is the most romantic song. To which I say, I disagree.

Here is the snippet of the lyrics:
Kau terima semua kurangku
Kau tak pernah marah bila ku salah
Engkau selalu memuji apapun hasil tanganku
Yang tidak jarang payah
Jangan cintai aku apa andanya
Tuntutlah sesuatu biar kita jalan kedepan

(Mediocre) Translation:
You accept all my flaws
You're never mad when I did wrong
You always praise everything that I do
Even if they are bad
Don't love me for who I am
Demand something from me so that we can move forward (in the relationship)

To an extent, I agree with the lyrics. You cannot just please everyone every time by telling your significant other that they are doing so well when in fact they are not. Especially when they ask for your opinion, you should give the most constructive opinion without being condescending. They might not agree with you, argument might spark, but that is a part of being in a relationship. So, yes, as a significant other you should support your significant other improve to become a better person.

However, there is another side to this argument, which is why I disagree with this song being the most romantic. Basically, the singer (let's assume it's about the singer) is willing to change themselves and grant whatever his significant other's wished just to make that person happy. That does not sound right to me.

For instance, your significant other doesn't like the way you dress, you changed it to their taste all the time. He/she doesn't like you in certain way and you will always change yourself to cater their 'needs'. Maybe they don't like your friends, who are always there from the beginning, but you don't socialise with them anymore to make your significant other happy and lose all your good friends. Wouldn't that mean, overtime, you are losing your own identity? Also, wouldn't that mean that when you break up and have another significant other, you will have a brand new identity, again?

Anyway, the song did not specify what 'moving forward' means. Moving forward can be perceived as something positive in a relationship when you do it the right way. But when the future doesn't go as planned and you have to break it off, that can also be classified as moving forward.

So, what do you think? Do you think it's always a good thing to accept your partner the way they are? Or you're the kind of person who don't mind change to make your significant other love you more?

Here's the song for y'all: