The Last Decade Throwback

As we all know, 2020 has been just about the most chaotic year so far. I hope everyone is staying healthy and keeping their distance from each other in this difficult time.

To fill this big hole of no social life (well, I don't really have an existing social life before all this social distancing started anyway) and to indulge on my study procrastination, maybe now is the time to look back on the last decade, remembering happier times...

2010
By January, I had been living in a new country for about 6 months. I think around this time I had definitely made myself a new best friend. I am very grateful to Thasya and Meita for keeping me sane and help me settle in a new school and a new country. I have made some friends by this time and started to enjoy my time a little bit more. I still found everything to be difficult, away from my friends that I grew up with and from my loved ones, but I felt immensely grateful for sure. I learnt to become a lot more independent and I definitely enjoyed that as a teenager.

2011
I started feeling more and more at home in the new country. I liked my school and the friends that I made. I got better at communicating in English, although probably still not feeling that confident about it all. I discovered new hobbies with my friends, I explored more of the country that I live in, went and do a lot of activities than the previous. I feel like I was closer to my old self, or at least a version of my older self that I thought I liked. I still played piano and it was all groovy.

2012
I continued to feel more comfortable with my surroundings. I felt like home. I also had a lot of feelings around this time because this was the year I graduated high school. I had to figure out where I could go for university, what I wanted to study, what grades I have to get to get there, and so on and so forth. It wasn't exactly "stressful", but there were a lot of big decisions to make. A lot of my friends seemed a lot more settled with their choices and I almost felt like I didn't really have any ground to land on. Funnily enough, if I remember correctly, I wasn't too bothered about that. I had my first heartbreak and lost myself a little too. In retrospect, I took that one badly.

2013
Big changes round 2 happened. I moved country, started university, lived in a college with 800+ other people. I felt like a tiny fish in a big aquarium filled with sharks and whales. My self confident wasn't at its highest as I still felt pretty sad. I did make the effort to go to all my classes and put effort in my studies. I was cast in a musical, which was a dream come true. I was learning to interact with people with different culture while still maintaining friendship with all my high school friends who are scattered around the world. I made friends that I still talk to regularly today and definitely tried to enjoy my first year of solitude and being away from home for real.

2014
This year was a blur. I remembered I wasn't sure about what I was studying, I wasn't sure if I liked it, I wasn't sure if I enjoyed the whole thing, really. I didn't put as much effort in my studies, definitely started skipping lectures (don't worry, I listened to them at home). Productivity just went out the window, my room was always in a constant mess. I still made the effort to go out, socialise, see my friends, join uni clubs and all that jazz to make myself feel better. It definitely was not bad, but I so wished I would have done things differently. I got my first part-time hospitality job as well. 

2015
I hung out more with friends but definitely abandoned my hobbies around this time. I worked part-time while studying. I tried putting a lot more effort in my study because *final year* and *graduation*. There wasn't really any plan on what I wanted to do after university so I definitely felt a little anxious just all throughout the year.

2016
In a bold move with the support of my family, I decided to stay and try out my luck in the city I had been living in for about 3 years at the time. I moved out of my college, the same room that I have lived in for the past three years, to a lovely home with Kirrilly and Amy, 2 of the loveliest house mates I will ever have in my life. Home life was thriving as I really loved living with these two. Some of my closest friends were still at uni so I didn't miss out on socialising around this time. There was a period of about 9 months of constant job searching, going to some interviews, getting rejected heaps of time, which was stressful. However, having a lovely home life and friends around you, also getting into running to forget your anxious mind, really helped me get through. I finally got my first job at this great local law firm (not doing law things) and met my work-wife (a.k.a. my manager) Lucrezia. Towards the end of the year I met +1, which had a rocky start to say the least.

2017
Settled in to my job a lot more, really enjoying that 'young professional' life. I still worked part-time hospo around this time so that was interesting. I decided to continue my study as well, but realised I missed some things at uni so I had to take some foundation course, which wasn't too bad. I was loving life a bit more, enjoying my company, my friends, and whatever came my way around this time. I also did a charity bike ride event called MS Sydney to the Gong, it was a wet 58km bike ride from somewhere in NSW down to Wollongong. It was one of the highlights of the year and I promised myself I would come back.

2018
I moved out of my first house-share to a city apartment with Sof, which is such a lucky steal. I started the CPA program, passed my first module but afterwards felt unsure about it. I stopped working hospitality part-time because I was tired all the time. I enjoyed my job a lot more and knew what I was doing more than 10% of the time so it made me feel good. I went to New Zealand, which was beautiful. My company decided to move back due to unforeseen circumstances so it was also a really sad time. Not too long after that, I decided that I would prefer to do the CA program, which I unfortunately couldn't officially start unless I worked in a public firm. I fortunately got a graduate position (I know, kinda late 3 years after I graduated) but unfortunately had to moved away from the law firm. I also enrolled in 3 foundation courses that I needed to have as prerequisites to start the program all at the same term (3 months long, because I was a young dumb keen girl)

2019
Tried to settle in to the new job, tried studying for these foundation courses and managed to passed them all (very close calls on some). I actually swapped one of the exam schedule in my head; I ended up going to the Audit exam without preparation because I spent the whole weekend preparing for the Tax exam which was not until 2 days after the Audit exam. It was chaotic. I hung out with my friends a lot more too and had many regular very long Skype calls. I started my CA program and passed my first 2 modules. I went home after two years and spent some quality time with my family.

Now we go on to the new decade... I just hope no one is actually cancelling 2020. Maybe it would be like one of those rom-com where it was tragic in the beginning and ends in an uplifting beautiful way. You never know, a girl can hope...

End of Year Stream of Consciousness

Well, guess who's back, your old buddy here.

It has been a three long year hiatus from this blog and a lot has happened in the last three year. Do not be afraid, I will not bore you guys even a little bit with a three year recap since that's just going to be way too long to do.

It's another end to a year, an end to another decade, which translates to another opportunity to do the good old stream of consciousness. Let's get into it and see if I can still write a coherent blog post after a long break like this one.

I guess one of the reason why I just stopped writing for a while is because I don't know what I want this page to be. This blog has been a brain-dump for the most part and I was perfectly fine with that. I did try and look outside, to see what the blogging community are doing. I did try to steer my blog in one specific direction to another but none of them worked out. I guess I just never had that much interest in what I thought was on the market of popular blogs. In the words of Marie Kondo, none of them 'sparked joy', hence I let it go.

So I thought, 'Hey, maybe it's okay to just use this as a brain dump'. I have always been a private person, even in my personal life. Things are really just for me, my immediate family and my closest friends. I don't like sharing my life's details to anyone, let alone a blank canvas like the internet. I re-thinked my decision of using this as a brain dump, on how I can use this blog as a platform to express myself, while at the same time somehow producing content that other people can enjoy.

Throughout the years, I've made a decision to cut down my time on social media. The whole show-and-tell mentality of the social media world has been affecting me in ways I didn't realise it could. The whole thing has been hard. I definitely would not say that I have succeeded, in any way. I went through little highs and troughs of stopping and just dumping myself into it even further than the last time. I guess this is one of my new year's resolution for this year, I've just arbitrarily decided. Resolution #1 2020: Spending less to no time on social media.

Well then, since we're thinking of new year's resolution, I might as well just run through with this.

Resolution #2 2020: Manage my time better.

Resolution #3 2020: Stop whinging and start doing real shit.

Resolution #4 2020: Improving my mental and physical health.

We will see how this goes.

Hope all y'all have a lovely end to the year and the decade, and a great start to another!

Quick Recipe: Steak with Mash Potatoes and Simple Vegetables

As weird as this sounds, going grocery shopping is one of my favourite past times. Walking through aisles on aisles of colourful fresh produces and packages, comparing prices, finding new brands and products - I could do all these all day long!

One of my resolution for September is to cook more at home and eat less takeaways. Not for any particular reason, it is definitely normal to make a new resolution in the last quarter of the year. I really think 2016 is just going at the speed of light! Whatever happened to the last 7 to 8 months I don't even know, I feel like the new year was just last month.

Rambling aside, the new resolution helps me enjoy more of my favourite past times and the trips to grocery stores have definitely increased in the past few weeks. In the past, the resolution has almost never worked out because I always run out of time to cook my meals from scratch. So, I think it's a good idea to document the successful, quick and easy recipes on my blog. Whether you're a busy bee or just a lazy cook (like me), this recipe is very do-able.

Today, we will start with the fool-proof steak with mash potatoes and simple vegetables:

As for raw ingredients, you will need:

• Steak, raw and at room temperature (work out the size as you wish)
• Potatoes
• Your favourite vegetables (to save time, I use frozen packed vegetables)

The condiments that I use are:

• Salt
• Pepper
• Paprika
• Mixed herbs (or your other favorite dry condiments)
• Olive oil
• Full cream milk (you will only need a few dashes)
• Instant gravy (optional)

The process are quick and easy, it takes me about 15-20 minutes to prepare this deliciousness:

1. Boil water in a pot, seasoned with a pinch of salt.
2. Peel and wash potatoes. Cut them into medium chunks and fork these chunks. You can skip the forks but I find it helps the potatoes to soften to the core a little faster, making it easier to mash.
3. Boil the potatoes for 15-20 minutes until it is soft.
4. Meanwhile, brush your steak with olive oil and rub salt, pepper, paprika, and mixed herbs on both sides.
5. Bring your pan to hot temperature, spray it with a little bit of oil if it is not a non-stick pan.
6. Grill the steak to medium rare or medium, about 4 minutes on each sides. Flip it regularly to prevent burning. Plate it aside.
7. Microwave your milk for about 30-40 seconds. 
8. Once the potatoes are soft, mash them up in a bowl, pour the milk little by little to make sure the mash is smooth and creamy. Plate it aside. (You may also put butter in your mash to make it even more creamy)
9. Microwave your frozen vegetables, or boil them to your liking. Plate it aside
10. Lastly, prepare your instant gravy according to the instruction. You can skip this step as you wish.

And there you go, a fresh, very quick and easy plate of juicy steak with mash potatoes and simple vegetables in 10 easy steps ready to eat! Hope this has been helpful to kick start your cooking and let me know if you try this out :)

Long Distance Relationship

I would state that I'm the most Pisces and the most hopeless romantic person that you probably will come across, so my opinion might be way too optimistic or does not agree with you. Here goes.

Long distance relationship sucks for all people and no one can say otherwise. I was in one (sort of) and a lot of people who are close to me are (or were) also in one at some point. It is never a good feeling to be away from your loved ones. It is a horrible feeling not being able to see them, hear their voice, hold them whenever you need them or when they need you. Sometimes the daily conversations fell flat. Asking the same question of "How was your day?" and "Did anything special happen today?" might get boring after a while. But the constant rush that you feel whenever you get to see them for however long you can beats all that. It's your own drug.

With all the hardships, it's no wonder that many long distance relationship does not last long. I know a handful that survive and some couple who actually went ahead and get married. Mine was not a successful one, so you might be sceptical about anything that I write down on this post. But if there is anything that I learn from long distance relationships, I would like to share it here so that yours can have more chance to succeed.

1. Manage expectations

Again, I will say that I am a hopeless romantic. I love all the cheesy romantic gestures that you can imagine (as long as it is not bragged about, so PDA is a no no - lucky long distance relationship lowers the chance of that from happening). Your biggest hurdle here is distance, then comes opportunities and money. Surely, you've seen someone posted that they got sent flowers for an anniversary when their partner is away. That is possible, I agree 100%, but nobody is saying that it is easy to do. Say you live in the USA and your partner lives in the UK. Say you're both students, busy and short of money. How are you supposed to pull that off?

During your long distance relationship, you have to lower your expectations. Realise that you both now are leading two lives that does not necessarily intersect in any way. You both have to make the conscious effort to keep at least you and your partner connected. They might be super busy and under a tight deadline that the only thing the two of you can manage is texting for a week. It's totally fine. There will be some low points. But remember that when both of you are not busy, you can Skype with them for as long as you want. Sometimes, I used to leave Skype call on and go about my day, so at least you know they are there. It might not be the most romantic but it's the best you can do now. And you have to be okay with it.

2. Be unconditionally supportive

Not in every little thing, but in most things you do. You might be studying abroad: you feel homesick, you face a lot of stress in a foreign land, you long for familiar faces. You will be complaining a lot and you need attention and support. You crave love from the people you miss the most and you feel like you have all the rights in the world to demand your fair share of that.

You are not entirely right. Of course, of course, you are entitled to love and affection from the people who are supposed to love you. The one thing you have to always keep in mind is: they also face struggles and problems in their daily lives. Maybe it is not as serious or as hard as yours. Nevertheless, they are entitled to their feelings and if they feel stress, you have to realise that it happens from time to time. They cannot be happy all the time, just as you cannot be sad all the time. Just because one of you are having a bad day, does not mean that both your days have to be down. Be sympathetic, be empathetic, but also be supportive. You need them for support, they also need you for support.

3. Don't let it consume your life

You miss them and you want to keep in constant contact with your loved one, understandable, right? But please oh please, do not plan your day around it. Just because you are far from each other, does not mean that you have to accommodate your day around theirs all the time. Give yourself some time to enjoy your life. Be independent, go outside, explore new things. This will enrich you and at the same time make your relationship more interesting as you have more stories to be told.

4. Trust and persevere

Trust them and trust yourself to trust them. If that foundation breaks, you break, and so will the relationship. It will be tiring, but it does not have to be. Keep trying, don't stop.

All of these have to be done by both you and your partner. If one of you stops trying, it might not work anymore. Have an end game, a plan, a time when you will be together again, and make sure that you both work towards it. Make it a purposeful one, a successful one. Good luck!